In Memoriam

Small warning - not a cheerful one today, I’m afraid.

My friend died. I’ve never met her. Not in person. She was an internet buddy, someone I met on a discussion group, exchanged emails with. I knew her for a couple of years before I learned her real name or found out what she looked like. I can’t attend her funeral or even send flowers. I know what city she lived in, but that’s all. The news just filtered through and for that I’m grateful.

In a way, I think internet relationships hark back further than one thinks. There have always been correspondents, which is a cold sounding word, more suited to news readers than the vibrant friendship I had formed with Susan. Once upon a time I would have called us pen pals.

I have the inevitable regrets. It’s been a while since we corresponded regularly. I knew she was unwell and dropped the odd note, mindful that she couldn’t get online often or for long. I really wish I’d made more of a recent effort, but I’m grateful for the thoughts and feelings we shared. We didn’t always agree, but we respectfully allowed for each other’s opinions.

I’m very sorry she’s gone and I’m sorry we hadn’t spoken for a while. I do think, though, that the form of our relationship, in correspondence only, allowed for a greater exchange of ideas and, perhaps, understanding than some of my face to face friendships and for that, amongst other things, I’m grateful. I wouldn’t normally, I think, make this sort of thing a blog topic, but it seems appropriate considering how we met and interacted.

So, goodbye, Susan. Wherever you are, I wish you well.

Chris