Forward start

I don't mind looking back on things and realising that 'Gods, I was awful.' I don't like watching videos of plays I've been in. It never works, anyway, because it's theatre, not film, and you kind of have to be there. But also - and I've trying to get to the end of this sentence without sounding an arrogant pr*ck - I did think I was better than that. (No. Didn't manage it.)

"You've changed, man. You've changed. You're different."

"Well, I would bloody well hope so. Time has passed."

That's my point, you see. Change and growth. Always striving upwards as it says at the bottom. So definitely hurrah if I see improvement, but sometimes despondent that I seem to have improved so far. Hence - 'Gods, I was awful.'

I'm designing an event, which I've been doing for about ten years now, and looking at previous years' materials for inspiration. They weren't awful. I specifically remember them not being awful, everyone always has a good time and I've had a no quibble increase in my fee every second year for the ten. So I must be doing something right. But Gods, they're awful. There's gaping holes in the scoring structure (it's a scavenger hunt type deal) for a kick off.

On the flip side, though, I am now able to spot the gaping holes in the scoring structure (easily enough that I wonder how on earth I missed them before). And that's very me. Crippled with shame and smug all at the same time.

Not a bad line to walk, I suppose.

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Did I say smug? I meant uber-smug, I think. UBER! In my new toy. Got me a Canon EOS 450D. I mean, I had to. Shooting Justin and Karen's wedding in a couple of weeks and the beast (my heavy as shit but well loved Samsung Pro 815) was just not going to deal with the light levels. So I absolutely had to buy this camera.



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Which, please the Gods of Heavy Drizzle, I am taking up Blackford Hill tonight, to shoot the fireworks. It's fairly distant, but we (SteveO and I - surprise) are heading up just before sunset to catch focus and the like.

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The book thing moves on. Not hugely, but I've got a kind of a mind map thing on the blackboard (next to a darts game of Malcolm and Ali's - no respect) of plot. Half a plot. OK, a quarter of a plot and I've still no idea how the Avatar fella meets up with the lady who lives on the edges and the trend setter, but I'm getting there.

It's actually quite a good visual reference. Whenever I'm lying on the couch in forced servitude to Patsy the Cat, who must sit on a lap, my eyes wander over the different colours of chalk, and it's giving me ideas.

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Like mutual and discrete, for instance. Which is best?

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#shout out to Ali, whose photos I have still not forgotten - swear#

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Semper superne nitens,

C

Wuss

I was out walking around town, with Steve, en-camera'd. And I saw the most amazing woman. She was in a box.

A little lady, or person, as I believe the preferred nomenclature runs. Can't have been more than a foot and a half tall and she was sitting in a box being held by a man. She was grinning like crazy and clearly having the time of her life.

Did I stop, and engage them in conversation, shoot what would have been some incredible portraits? No. I kept walking.

Wuss.

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Semper suterne nitens (even if that means a public admission of being a pansy-ass so the next time...),

C

OK, so considering I've just done the accounts...

...and it's not looking awesome (when is it ever), I'm feeling surprisingly chipper. I really, really, really want to get myself going on the photography and writing; this is what I want my career to be. I love m'job and all that, but creative has always been my goal in life. Ever since small. Not been terribly organised with it - even though I make a great many protestations about it. So, what better spur than finance?

There are competitions to enter. And publishers to submit to. Go to, Reynolds. Go to.

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You should click through. Works much better in the large size. Apologies to anyone I just grossed out.

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And, to catch up:

Work's decent. Damn hard, but I'm still happy day to day. Long may it continue.

Malcolm's still about, but that's still grand. He fixed the plumbing. Well. Fixed it 'ish'. The original problems are gone, but now there's a new one. There is a plan in place, though, so it's all good one way or the other. Given that the other option was an actual plumber - I don't think I have the strength for anymore DIY with my Dad - bonus, I say.

Very little friend guilt at the moment. I am doing better there. Not seen small Jen in a while (word to ya, small sister), but she's been on holiday. The immediate family are...their usual selves. Quite a lot of guilt about not having visited my Gran more recently.

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M'flat remains grand. Absolute nonsense of an electricity bill. Truly horrific (kind of prompted the finance thang) and the worrying thing is, their numbers don't seem to be very out. What I don't get is how the estimates were so wildly out on previous bills when I've had four different meter readings since I moved in.

Ne'er mind. At least I can pay it. We're talking serious 'OUCH!' but one of the multitude of good things about my job is that it gives me daily perspective. I am absolutely certain that I have it not just good, but great.

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OK. I'm now off to put all this good cheer to good use and target my first five photo competitions.

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Semper superne nitens,

C